Nobody. Nobody on earth could ever tell you life is fair. Everybody knows it isn’t. Yet we are all subject to the same mental fallacy. We want to believe life is fair, even though it isn’t. We want to believe that good things will happen to good people, and that bad things will happen to bad people. What goes around comes around. We want to believe that all our day to day efforts will be worth it.
Life never made us any such guarantee. I’ve certainly witnessed my share of unfairness in life, but it’s always been things the world throws at me. That’s a bit easier to accept. It’s out of my control, all I can do is roll with the punches. But I thought that if something was in my control, if I tried hard and did my best, then I’d get what I wanted. But sometimes your best isn’t good enough. Sometimes you can work towards your goals, try really hard, do everything right and still fail. And failing sucks.
I still want to believe that everything’s worth it though. That everything happens for a reason. I know that it doesn’t make any sense at all, that there is no logic to the universe, but I feel like I have to keep believing it to keep myself sane. I’ve spent the past week wallowing, feeling sorry for myself, giving up. But, as it turns out, that gets old really fast. Life is more fun when you’re happy. So I’m taking my failures and growing from them. Everything happens for a reason. I didn’t get this job so that I could find a better one. I’m better off now than I was five years ago, and I hope that five years from now I can say the same thing. It’s so easy to get bogged down in the day to day, to lose track of the big picture. The trick is to make every day count. Easier said than done, but something to strive for.