Life in Limbo

This year has been an interesting one for. As the school year comes to a close, even though this year I was not a part of it, I find myself looking back and wondering what I’ve accomplished. The short answer, though not one I wanted to come to, is absolutely nothing.

For me, this has been a year of waiting. Waiting for jobs to respond (none did) or opportunities to come along (which they didn’t). I’ve been waiting for life to happen. And I have only just now come to the screeching, while somewhat obvious, realization that life has been happening the whole time. Time is passing. I’m getting older. But opportunities don’t just come along on their own; you have to go find them. 

A  BA in psychology is not enough to help me get what I want out of life. It’s far too broad and hasn’t left me qualified for anything. I can’t figure out what to do with it because there is nothing I CAN do with it. I’ve spent the year thinking about all my options to enrich my degree, and there are just so many. I’ve spent the year thinking about all the opportunities I could have, without actually going for any of them.

It’s hard to decide what you want when you could have anything. First world problem, I know, but a problem for me nevertheless. The important distinction is that I could have anything, but I can’t have everything. So I need to pick something and run with it and never look back at what the other possibilities could have led to.

Next time

Today I leaned that wordpress has a weekly writing challenge. This week’s writing challenge is to write a story in only fifty words. Fifty words is nothing, so I figured I’d give it a shot. I have a tendency to write one word at a time, not thinking about what I’m trying to say, and learning my own point only at the end when a read through the rambles. A fifty word story forces me to consider each and every word, to make them count. Here’s what I came up with.

She stared out at the ocean, listening to the waves. Each time one washed to shore, it whispered to her. “Next time” they sighed. It was a threat, a consolation, a promise. The crashing got louder, until the world fell away and it was all she could hear. “Next time.”